:-( That’s My Emoji and I’m Sticking to It.

 

My parents were here visiting from Louisiana for a week for my son’s high school  graduation, and left today to return home. My dad is suffering with Alzheimer’s, which means we are IMG_0701all suffering–mostly my mom, who is with him day and night. This is a fairly recent onset, so it may come as news to some who know us. The disease was slowly progressing for awhile, and now it’s come on very aggressively since November.

We have to make plans and decisions, which will change everything. So many go through it, and it’s never less than horrible for anyone I’ve known. We understand we aren’t alone, and yet, we are in so many ways. I know my dad is very lonely, even when surrounded by those who care so deeply. He’s alone inside his confused mind. And it’s horrible to watch. There isn’t enough medication in the world to keep him from suffering the fear, and anxiety right now, the understanding that his life he’s known is ending a little more every day.

The indignities one suffers at the hands of this disease are unspeakable, as they are with most incurable and progressive illnesses. The back-breaking demand of physical and mental labor for the primary caregiver and loved one is unfair beyond belief.

Nothing I’m saying about this disease comes as a surprise to any of you. These days, nearly everyone has been touched by Alzheimer’s and dementia. Why? Who knows. Will I develop it? God, I hope not.

My dad is in his mid-seventies and healthy besides this disease, and both his parents lived well into their nineties. How long can this go on? I hate to speculate for so many reasons.

If you pray, please do that. If you’re more comfortable with sending thoughts and good wishes, we’ll take ’em. Hugs, both virtual or otherwise are much appreciated.

I share because it makes me feel less alone. And that’s what blogs are for. You’ve signed up for this one because something I’ve said along the way made you smile or nod.

Thanks for being a friend.

Susan

 

 

 

 

15 thoughts on “:-( That’s My Emoji and I’m Sticking to It.

  1. I cannot like!! I hate to hear this!! My dear was diagnosed at 59 and lived to be 751/2. My heart goes out to your mom and you!!! No one can know unless they have been there. Please let me know if I can be of any comfort. I will pray for all.

    1. I’m so sad about what you and Mr. Peterson went through for so many years. I have such fond memories of him throughout my childhood. It’s heartbreaking. Thank you for being so supportive to our family.

  2. Susan, I know how you feel….helpless. My stepfather suffered from early onset dementia for several years before we lost him in 2013. He was in the nursing home for two years. Mom was his caregiver & it ruined her health. She is 89 now and she is suffering from it, too. She asks same questions over & over & doesn’t recognize her clothing! Must be new, she thinks. My brother lives with her & we’ve hired a lady to sit with her three days a week, so he can get out. She also had asthma, so she requires a lot of meds. It is heartbreaking to see her like this. Your mom needs help or she will go down quickly. Just be loving and yourself with your dad. I know it is hard to see him like this, but he’s still in there…just a little confused. Doctors advised us not to take my stepdad for rides, etc because it caused further confusion. Mom likes to look at old pix & chat about the good old days, which she remembers! That might help your dad. I will be praying for your sweet mother & dear dad. Also for you & your family. Try to come as often as possible because he’d enjoy your company & I know your mom would love a break! Love you…you are not alone on this journey, my friend!

    1. Believe me, Donna, we are planning changes in the very near future to help prevent the worst of Mom’s being alone in this. She is too far from me now. Thanks for your prayers and for sharing your story. It helps so much.

  3. We went through exactly what you’re going through with my grandmother. Alzheimers is the most horrible thing imaginable for everyone involved. To watch someone you love trapped inside a world they don’t recognize is pure agony. My grandmother was such a sweet, Godly woman who turned into someone she wouldn’t have ever wanted to be. One thing I will tell you is don’t ever try to tell your dad he’s mistaken about something he might say. I learned quickly that would get my grandmother so worked up it would take a lot to calm her down. The best thing to do is just smile, agree with any off-the-wall thing your dad might say and put your arms around him and love him as long as he will allow it. My prayers are with you because I know your journey isn’t going to be pleasant.

  4. Susan,
    Yes we indeed have a family member who suffers. Your so in tune to look out for your mom too. Praying for a cure and some relief to the suffering.
    Hugs,

  5. I am walking in the shoes of so many others before me, and now you in ours. No matter how many are here, you are right, it is a lonely walk. I live now for him and the occasional spark in his eyes grateful for a familiar face, touch, and embrace.

    1. Rona, I’m truly humbled by your daily sacrifice as caregiver and loved one. We step into waiting shoes that rub blisters on our souls but fit like gloves. I wouldn’t be anywhere else, but want to run far and fast in the other direction some days. Blessing to you.

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